How do you think about, experience, understand a blow job relative to sexual intercourse? Why do you think it became so popular among younger people today?
Do women think about/experience men orally pleasing them the same way that men think about women doing the same?
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The blow job is inferior to sexual intercourse. It's inferior in intimacy AND pleasure.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why the blow job's popularity has risen, but women could believe they are less susceptible to disease through oral sex than intercourse. It would be interesting to see statistics for the percentage of blow job's in relationships versus blow job's in hook up's only. I would make the hypothesis that more sexual intercourse occurs in relationships, while more blow job's occur in hook up's.
Male/22
I do not believe that the blow job, or oral sex in general, is inferior to penile-vaginal sexual intercourse in any way.
ReplyDeleteI am currently engaged, and I believe oral sex is a wonderful way to be intimate with your partner. Also, everything I have learned about sex points to the fact that women get MORE PLEASURE when oral sex is performed on them. This is because the clitoris (where women have the most nerve endings) is the focus of pleasure rather than the vaginal canal (which may be the focus of sexual intercourse).
I believe that the rise in oral sex among younger people derives from a number of different things including what it means to be a virgin, not wanting to get pregnant, not wanting to move too fast into a relationship, and avoiding certain diseases. Everyone defines what it means to be a virgin differently, and many people believe that oral sex isn't really sex; therefore, some people may wish to engage in oral sex to presearve their virginity if they believe that to lose one's virginity is to engage in penile-vaginal intercourse. Some may engage in oral sex simply because they do not want to get pregnant. While there are a number of birth control options available, not everyone has the ability to obtain it (money issues, location, availablity, social stigma, etc.); therefore, oral sex may be seen as a form of birth control which is more effective than some other cheap and easily available methods (such as the withdrawal method). Also, many people believe that having sexual intercourse with someone is a bigger deal than orally pleasing them. This may lead to some people giving and receiving oral sex as a means to control the level of intimacy, or seriousness, in a relationship.
Personally, I believe oral sex is experienced differently for men and women. For example, I am willing to perform oral sex for my partner at any time, but sometimes I am reluctant to have oral sex performed on myself. I prefer to just have taken a shower beforehand, but I know my partner has no preference. I believe that the differences in experience stem from preconceived notions about giving and receiving oral sex (such as the odor of a vagina).
All that being said, I truly believe that communication is the most important aspect when engaging in sexual activity (oral sex, anal sex, penile-vaginal sex, mutual masturbation, etc.) and that with any partner (long-term or not) communication about wants, needs, desires, and feelings (along with safety and consent) will increase pleasure and enhance the sexual experience. Because of this, I do not believe that any one type of sexual activity is better than another.
Oral sex used to be something that I was not only afraid to do but to have done to me...so many uncommuicated expectations. Does he like it...should i tell him he is doing it all wrong. This was teenage lack of maturity. Today love making and oral sex, intercourse are all one. I thorouly enjoy giving and receiving. I find just as much pleasure in the giving of it to a partner that I know not only cares about me but isn't taking advantage of it the way it seems to happen in hook up culture. I always felt like a peice of shit after giving a blow job but not really getting anything in return, keep in mind that I was insecure in how to perform it "right" I think it takes a loving partner and a chance to really get to know their wants, their needs. their body before it becomes comfortable and wonderful for both
ReplyDeleteOral sex has become an easy way to give without giving too much. Check out IV for instance. It probably has the most concentration of promiscuity of any place I have ever lived. Just like "hooking up" said, most of the hooks up that happened don't end up in sex. I'd guess it's for the fear of STDS and pregnancy which the other commentators already expressed.
ReplyDeleteBut it's funny to think that putting a penis in the mouth isn't as intimate as having it go in the vagina. I mean, for God sakes, the mouth is the externally available for even my mother to see, she usually don't check out my vagina.
I wonder if the sexual revolution has anything to do with it. Was the blow job more common before the 60's? Did the hippies "blow" it for us all? Are girls expected to give head now if they're not having sex? It's popular because it feels good for the man, and the woman gave up something without giving him her sex.
I don't know, maybe I'm just delusional. But to me, the blow job is pretty relative to sex. If I'm not having sex with you, your penis isn't going anywhere near my mouth.
As a feminist woman before I had been with a man I could not imagine myself wanting to give a blow job, finding it enjoyable, or finding it empowering. My ex understood my concerns about being "demeaned" by giving and blow job and never demanded that I do it. Eventually we built enough trust and respect that I DIDN'T feel it was demeaning and I tried it. A funny thing happened: I found out that I LOVED giving head, and that I was not in a disempowered position at all. I was giving him pleasure, getting my own pleasure (from the direct sensual stimulation and from pleasing him because I liked him), and I was in control of the pacing of the sex.
ReplyDeleteIf this sounds too good to be true, it's not. The qualifier is that my ex happened to have good control over his ejaculation, apparently a rare commodity in American men, as well as being respectful. So, since I loved sucking his dick but found out the first and only time he came in my mouth that I didn't like that at all, he never came in my mouth again and he was completely okay with that. So we had the OPPOSITE of the case Professor Friedland discussed in class, where both the man and the woman want the blow job to end ASAP. I could suck his dick for half an hour, we could both enjoy it tremendously, and then we could both have orgasms by other means if we wanted to (which we usually did).
In our case the relationship between oral sex and intercourse was that oral sex could only happen before intercourse for purely practical reasons: intercourse first would make him cum and make his dick less delicious to me; oral sex first wouldn't make him cum and was delightful for both of us whether or not we had intercourse after.
The difference in our relationship, in terms of him giving me oral sex, was that he was always making me cum and he enjoyed it so much and I felt so out of control/disempowered because he could "make" me cum that we eventually came to a point where I felt like he was enjoying it more than I was and I wouldn't let him do it anymore. (So you see, we still had our issues. But not with blow jobs.)
Excellent post I just love the blow jobs.
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